Playing A Vicious Part [Luke<3]

[thalia grace]

OH THESE TIMES ARE HARD YEAH THEY'RE MAKING US CRAZY

Thalia hated admitting she was wrong. She hated swallowing her pride. She hated looking anything but strong. She hated it when she did something that forced her to apologize. She hated when she was put into a bad position. But most of all, she hated when any of that happened when the other person in the situation was Luke Castellan. Put them on a balance scale, and they were equal. Attitude, personality, skill, whatever it was, eventually it would balance out. She knew it, he knew it - that was how it'd always been. It was why they got along so well, and it was why they argued constantly. It was why they worked, and it was why their relationship was so dysfunctional. Complete opposites, one in the same - it was always a contradiction, sameness in a way that didn't make any sense. They spoke their own language, knew the other better than they knew themselves. At the moment, though, Thalia knew more than anything that walking away from Luke when they had been near the barracks had been the stupidest thing she could've ever done. Plus, she'd let him win - and she was sure that he felt like he'd lost, since he hadn't gotten a response. How could she have done something like that? She was sure that Annabeth would've shoved her to go talk to him, if she had told the brunette, but she hadn't. She couldn't bring herself to explain because she didn't have any explanation - simple, complicated, as that.

She'd been thinking over it, lost sleep over it - what would Artemis think of her right now? She felt like the circlet that sat on top of her head, she deserved less and less every day. She'd worked hard to keep her spot, she'd done her best to be the best leader she could be, and now what? She was essentially betraying the Hunters - for Luke Castellan. She didn't want to call it love - love was useless to her, and she hated saying that it was love when it wasn't. Love was something complicated and simple at the same time - the same way she described her and Luke's relationship - but that didn't mean it was love. However, it was an emotion that she couldn't explain, and she didn't like that, because it meant that there was no certainty. Thalia needed certainty, a steady ground, but she wasn't going to get one unless she went and talked to the son of H-- Mercury.

She'd went to his barrack - she'd figured out that he was in the first boys' barrack that belonged to the First Cohort. Really, it hadn't been easy, because they all looked the same and really, she'd rather wander forever than ask for help, but she'd managed. When she'd knocked on the door, the idiot that had answered the door refused to give her a straight answer. She'd threatened him, he'd spotted the circlet on her head, and decided that maybe he should help her before she snapped his neck in two without a second thought and start a war between demigods. Luke had gone for a walk - fine, she could figure it out from there. Really, it was a one in a million chance she'd find him on some random path, but maybe she was actually meant to? For she'd found him in her first twenty minutes of walking. She could've called out to him, she could've asked him to stop walking, but she'd jogged up next to him, and stood right in front of him - essentially blocking him from walking. "Think you and I could talk?" She wasn't good at talking - really, it was one of the things she was worst at, but then again, he wasn't good at it, either. Death to Barbie t-shirt, ripped black jeans, and her pair of combat boots - she wasn't in her uniform. Her hair was held back in a messy ponytail/bun, not that it ever mattered as long as it was off her neck in this heat - she knew she didn't look her best. However, when had looks ever mattered to either of them? It was only one thing that she worried over - the circlet.

don't give up on me, baby

TAGGED !? luke<3
WORD COUNT !? seven eleven
NOTES !? just ... <3
CREDIT !? graphics go to BELLA DOESN'T OWN A SWAN ? of caution two point oh. the lyrics go to the script - for the first time.

[luke castellan]

AM I BETTER OFF DEAD ?

AM I BETTER OFF A QUITTER ? THEY SAY I'M BETTER OFF NOW

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Whenever it came to him being wrong, or at fault, it was never something Luke admitted to anyone. If he realized it, and admitted it to himself, he had his own ways of getting around it. Helping the person out more than he normally would, being overly friendly, whatever he could to feel like he had made it up. Though it was never admitted to. Even when he had gone so far as to betray the whole camp, and even Thalia's tree – though it had been for a good cause – he still never admitted it, and in the end he sacrificed himself. It had been his way of making up for all the crap he had pulled. This situation was different. It wasn't nearly as life threatening as Kronos had been, but at the same time he had been just as stupid. Luke had been the one to bring up the fact that Thalia was a hunter. It was his own fault that they stayed the topic of their short conversation. In the end, he was his own demise, just like always. The one thing he had been trying to avoid all this time, and it happened within one conversation. Simply because he hadn't been strong enough to hold back what he had been hiding since they were young.

Their talk was replayed time, and time again in his mind. He had picked it apart, line by line, tone versus tone. Luke had figured out exactly where he could have said something better, or the words he didn't have to say. How he could have avoided this whole situation. The little slip of the tongue that would have been so easy to hold back, had he not let him get so worked up over this. Who was he kidding, though; it was Thalia. Seeing her again, so suddenly and without plan, it had stirred up so much inside him. This was Luke Castellan, he didn't do this. He wasn't the kind of person to let someone throw them so far off balance. He didn't let anyone inside his head, nor did he lose control of his emotions unless it was a moment of pure panic. Again, it was her. Ever since they were kids she knew him better than he did. She was capable of knowing when something was bothering him before he even realized it. Thalia would always... know. So this time around, why didn't she? Luke didn't understand why she had taken such a reaction to him asking her to leave the Hunters. Yes, it had been a bit uncalled for, but she should be able to see why. She always saw through him, but why not this time? Something fell into place in his mind; two thoughts or ideas connected, and suddenly he knew he had to see her again.

He told the others in the First Cohort that he was going for a walk. Their expressions told him that they were confused, but he didn't even bother hanging around to explain. Normally Luke would have spent the entire day laying on his bed, staring upwards or at the wall, muttering to himself occasionally. Sleep hadn't been an option for him since then. This crazy idea of his could have been because of sleep deprivation, but at the same time he did his best thinking then. As Luke headed away from the Barracks, he wasn't exactly sure where he was supposed to find Thalia. The more the thought about it, the more he didn't want to find her. However, as soon as he was losing his nerve, he heard jogging footsteps go by him, and then once again she was in front of him. Luke could only watch her for a moment, when she asked if they could talk. A million responses were in his mind. Ranging from something snarky, to something along the lines of 'why would you even want to speak to me?' He slowly inhaled, and nodded. “I think we're perfectly capable of speaking to each other, yes.” Luke straightened up a bit, and tilted his head while waiting to see what she had to say. He didn't know exactly why he was acting as if she had done something wrong; he knew it was crystal clear it was him that had messed up. Maybe there had been a part of him that wanted to seek her out, and it was now bitter because she had found him. His mind worked in ways that never made sense.

I WANTED WORDS BUT ALL I HEARD WAS NOTHING
OH I GOT NOTHING

WORDS ?! seven-six-eight [768]
TAGGED ?! thals <3
LYRICS ?! nothing by the script
NOTES ?! i dont even know where luke was going with this... >_<;

[/justify]

[thalia grace]

OH THESE TIMES ARE HARD YEAH THEY'RE MAKING US CRAZY

Thalia played the role of her own Achilles heal, constantly. She sabotaged herself when she didn't even mean to. She didn't mean to screw things up, but she always ended up the one saying something wrong, or doing something wrong. She was the one that ruined things for herself. That conversation with Luke, the one that she had thought of over and over again, replayed in her head over and over again, she'd been the one to mess up. Why hadn't she given him a straight answer? Why hadn't she tried to talk to him right there? More importantly, why did she persist on his tone? She didn't have to ask him why he said what he said, or why he said it the way he said it. She could've left it alone, she could've let it rest, but no. Not Thalia, she just couldn't let sleeping dogs lie. And even worse than that, she had to walk away when he'd been honest with her. She couldn't have been mature and stayed, oh no of course not. And there went her mind, making fun of her, as if she didn't do it enough.

If it was one thing she couldn't get out of her head, it had been what he said. Why can't you just leave them, Thals? His tone, what he'd said, Thals - he'd called her by the nickname he'd given her what felt like so many years ago. It had brought everything rushing back, and she hadn't been able to say a word. But now, it wanted to make her say so much. She wasn't good with words, not in the way he was - even though he wasn't a good speaker either, he knew how to manipulate the English language to his advantage - he was a son of Mercury, after all. For her, it was as if she spoke in a brutish manner, and whatever came out was usually filled with attitude and was rude and she didn't care because she was Thalia, and she didn't care about anything. However, saying nothing was even worse in her opinion, and she was almost ashamed with her lack of ability to do something right for once. She nodded when he said they could talk, glad that he hadn't been sarcastic, because she actually didn't want this to be like their average conversation. Maybe they could be normal for once.

"I didn't mean to just ... walk away like that," she started. She wasn't looking at him - since when could she not keep eye contact with him, when had that happened? "It was immature and I shouldn't have done it." That was an apology if he was he was ever going to get one, because nothing that sounded remotely apologetic was anywhere near her dictionary. "Regarding the Hunters ... I joined them not to be the child of the prophecy. Not because I wanted to." I joined them so I wouldn't have to fight you, because I knew I couldn't. I cried when I thought you died by my hands, but you don't know that. "I ... am, leaving them. I've already requested audience with Artemis." Not that she knew why she'd done it. Didn't Artemis need her? Phoebe would take over - they'd be fine, wouldn't they? The Hunters had survived when Zoe had died, and they would survive when Thalia left. It would work - it would because it had to. And Phoebe was capable. "Your turn." She didn't know what else to say, because really, she'd exhausted her speech capabilities. She wondered what he would say, his reaction ... it wasn't as if that was what he expected her to say, he couldn't have, she didn't even know what she was doing until she'd done it right in that moment. Maybe he was exactly the same - they were the same in every other aspect, how could that change now?

don't give up on me, baby

TAGGED !? luke<3
WORD COUNT !? six fifty four
NOTES !? she's incapable of proper speech. i don't even.
CREDIT !? graphics go to BELLA DOESN'T OWN A SWAN ? of caution two point oh. the lyrics go to the script - for the first time.

[luke castellan]

AM I BETTER OFF DEAD ?

AM I BETTER OFF A QUITTER ? THEY SAY I'M BETTER OFF NOW

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There had been this elaborate plan in his head. Everything had been planned out, and over the short time he had been on his own outside, Luke had somehow thought of all the words to say. In one way or another, he would get Thalia to understand what he had been going on about before. That he wasn't just over reacting, and that this was something that had bothered him since the moment he found out about it. It was going to be the perfect conversation in his head. She would see that he felt horrible for abruptly voicing his true wish, and basically forcing her to chose. Then as time passed, his mind wandered away from this ideal situation, and drifted back into reality. Nothing would go that perfectly, especially with them; they didn't follow script. While he could go on for hours about his hatred for the Hunters, and how they took her away from him, he realized that if it wasn't for them, he never would have come close to admitting these feelings to himself. Not to mention that he had been ignoring anything that meant joining the Hunters had been a smart decision on her end.

He didn't blame her for walking away. No thought ever came close to it. Luke had caused her to do so. Yet here she was, apologizing for it; well, the closest thing to one from Thalia. She thought it had been immature, he thought the opposite. If she had stayed, and they started yelling at each other then and there, he would have continued on saying things in the complete wrong way. His temper would have been lost, and he would have been way more blunt, and might have pissed her off in a horrible way. In the end, Thalia saved him from possibly losing her forever by walking away. Again, something she did for him without realizing it. She joined the Hunters to avoid the prophecy's words. Of course, how could Luke not have seen this. The first time she had refused, and later she chose to join as a smart decision. He hadn't been around, he couldn't have – there was his ego again. Or maybe his he- no, he was going to stop that thought right there. It was why he had never seen her in the last battle. The Hunters hadn't been near Olympus, but he could have sworn Thalia was there. Then she spoke the words that snapped his brain onto one thought; she was leaving the Hunters like he had asked her.

“Wait, wait, no.” Luke was quick to say, staring at Thalia with a confused expression. “I was being an idiot, Thalia. You should have seen right through that. I … It was the first time I had seen you in … how long? Of course I'm going to spew out words without warning, because it's you. I can't exactly think straight when I'm around you. Not when what we're saying isn't insults or jabs at each other. I had no right asking you to do something like that. It was your choice, and I should have just ...” His gaze dropped as he shook his head. “I should have just accepted it and tried to start moving on. Clearly I haven't, and I can't, because look at how I'm rambling right now.” Luke sighed, and rubbed his temples. Looking back at her, he took a deep breath. “Thals, you do not have to leave the Hunters because I asked. If you're only doing this because of me, I don't know … how I would really take it. If you're going to leave the Hunters it should be because you want to, not because someone asked you to. No matter who they are.” A smirk dared to tug at his lips, and his heart raced in the silence that followed his words.

I WANTED WORDS BUT ALL I HEARD WAS NOTHING
OH I GOT NOTHING

WORDS ?! six-six-four [664]
TAGGED ?! thals <3
LYRICS ?! nothing by the script
NOTES ?! panic, rambling, silly Luke

[/justify]

[thalia grace]

OH THESE TIMES ARE HARD YEAH THEY'RE MAKING US CRAZY

Neither Luke nor Thalia was capable of following any type of plan. They could make them - yes, they were both able to be leaders in their own rights, but it was something different when they were the ones trying to follow a plan. A script, a plan, some sort of rules - they were truly bad at all three. Thalia found rules not a necessity, but a hindrance - she thought they were useless, and really, she wasn't even going to pretend she followed them. She didn't make plans for herself, either. She hadn't planned out what she was going to say when she got in front of Luke, despite the amount of thinking she had put into actually getting to this point, and the amount of playing in her head on how this could go. Really, she'd never gone over the details. Details were so small in Thalia's mind that, really, she should be able to wing them - at least, that's what she thought. Now, when she got here, she wondered if it really would've been the smarter thing, to actually think about what she should say and how she should act because this was Luke and she didn't want to lose him when she'd only just gotten him back.

The confused expression on his face made her inner confusion grow just a bit. The first words out of his mouth weren't what she'd expected them to be - disagreeance? Then ... he was rambling. Luke was rambling. She didn't know what to think. Honestly, when had Luke ever been anything but composed? She could only think of one or two times, and they had been under great stress that they had occurred. She didn't expect it now, of all times. He called her Thals, and she had to bite down on her tongue to hold back an actual smile. Really, if he wasn't so serious right now, she would smile. She knew how hard this was for him, and usually they didn't talk because they didn't know how to without throwing little digs at each other or being them in some way, shape, or form. Annabeth had been the one that kept them on task, and before her, well ... they'd been a sight. He thought that she was only doing it for him - she'd admit, even to herself, that he was a major part of her reasoning. She'd thought long, even hard, on this decision - while she'd still been fully committed to the Hunters, even when she felt like she belonged - she'd always felt that her reasons for joining hadn't been the purest, hadn't been the best, and she'd never been fully honest. That, come together with Luke Castellan standing right in front of her, and she couldn't continue.

Then, something caught in her throat. He couldn't think straight around her? Sometimes, they were so similar, she couldn't understand how it was possible. She wondered how it got out of his throat - those words couldn't leave hers', not even if she tried. "I'm not leaving the Hunters just because you asked me to," she said, then shrugged. "It's been in my head for a while. I just never actually had a reason to leave. Now ... well, it wouldn't exactly be right for me to stay." Because I think I'm breaking one of Artemis' biggest, major-only rule. "I wouldn't do something huge if I didn't want to," she said, with a raised eyebrow. She wasn't going to drop everything and run just for one person if she didn't want to. She wasn't that foolish. "If the right person asked you to leave Camp Jupiter, wouldn't you?" She couldn't help it, and her pulse raced. "Same principle applies."

don't give up on me, baby

TAGGED !? luke <3
WORD COUNT !? six twenty four
NOTES !? surprise? XD
CREDIT !? graphics go to BELLA DOESN'T OWN A SWAN ? of caution two point oh. the lyrics go to the script - for the first time.